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Articles by Andrew

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Accidentally Sings Leonard Cohen’s ‘Hallelujah’ During Handel’s Messiah

December 17, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local man, and former ‘Hymn Sing’ star Simon Hildebrandt, 61, messed up a performance of Handel’s Messiah this week after belting out Leonard Cohen’s ‘Hallelujah’ during the famous ‘Hallelujah Chorus.’ “I heard there […]

Unger Conviction

Christian Man Says ‘Merry Christmas’, Nothing Happens

December 16, 2019 Andrew

OMAHA, NE Absolutely nothing happened after local church-goer Billy Friesen, 42, greeted a stranger on the street with a hearty ‘Merry Christmas’ this past week. “I don’t get it,” said Friesen. “I was really hoping […]

Quizzes

Which Mennonite MP Should Replace Andrew Scheer as Conservative Leader?

December 15, 2019 Andrew

Nah, oba, well, Mr. Scheer didn’t last very long as leader. Taunte Lina has been talking in the church lobby and has been trying to stir up support to get a Mennonite in there once. […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Men to Hold Bi-Weekly Schnettje-Konferenz on the Corner of Main and Reimer

December 14, 2019 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Mr. Peters and Mr. Dueck have rolled down the windows of their rusty F-150s and are shooting the breeze and holding up traffic at the Main and Reimer intersection this week. “Oba, Harry, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Man With Obscure Mennonite Surname Feeling Totally Left Out

December 13, 2019 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Local man Henry Mierau is sick and tired of all the attention given to “mainstream” Mennos like the Reimers and Penners and is demanding that the Mieraus be given their space on […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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