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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Abbotsford Couple Excited for New ‘Downtown Abby’ Movie

September 28, 2019 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC The Fast family of Abbotsford was super pumped about the new movie set in their very own community and were first in line to see Downtown Abby this weekend. “I’ve never seen downtown Abbotsford look […]

Unger Suspicion

“Greta’s Been Coached,” Says Politician Who Doesn’t Even Write His Own Speeches

September 28, 2019 Andrew

MONTREAL, QC Local politician and die-hard anti-Greta activist Willie Ford took to Twitter this week to discount everything Thunberg has ever said on the basis that she may have rehearsed once or twice before making […]

The Daily Bonnet

Enns Family Gets Their Own Special Crossing

September 27, 2019 Andrew

KLEINSTADT, MB The tiny Mennonite village of Kleinstadt, Manitoba has just unveiled a series of road crossings intended to serve the crossing needs of the Enns family. “There are so many Ennses around here, we […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Seniors Destroy Team of Youngsters on Pickleball Court

September 26, 2019 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB The team of Peter Heppner, 78, and Lois Brandt, 81, totally destroyed some young novices on the pickleball court at the Seniors Centre this week. “No one beats a Mennonite senior at pickleball,” […]

Unger Suspicion

16-Year-Old Swede Tops Canadian Election Poll

September 24, 2019 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Even though her age and citizenship currently make her ineligible to run for office, it seems that the vast majority of Canadians prefer Greta Thunberg to any of the other candidates for Prime […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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