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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

“Fearless” Man Refuses to Wear a Mask But Absolutely Petrified to Enter a Grocery Store Without His Gun

August 25, 2020 Andrew

SEMINOLE, TX Mr. Janzen, 41, of Seminole, laughs every time he sees those “sheeple” wearing their silly masks all over the place. Janzen is a very brave man who trusts only in the Lord and […]

Unger Suspicion

Paris Woman Suddenly Realizes She Actually Likes Tourists

August 24, 2020 Andrew

PARIS, FRANCE After six months of nearly empty streets in her home town, Juliette Martin, 31, of Paris, France has decided that if the tourists ever come back she’s going to be nice to them […]

Quizzes

Quiz: Where Should You Actually Live? (For Mennonites)

August 22, 2020 Andrew

Years ago there was an episode of The Simpsons where Homer and his pals visit Winnipeg to buy cheap prescription drugs. The sign at the edge of town said “Welcome to Winnipeg: We Were Born […]

Unger & Thirst

Preservative Party of Canada to Select New Leader

August 21, 2020 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON After the resignation of a jar of Oma Friesen’s Dills a few months ago, the Preservative Party of Canada is currently voting-by-mail on a new leader. In the running are a bowl of […]

Unger Suspicion

Retired Threshing Machine Takes Up New Full-Time Advertising Job

August 20, 2020 Andrew

DOMINION CITY, MB One old threshing machine in Dominion City has managed to snag the retirement job of his dreams – a full time advertising job at the side of a gravel road. “It’s not […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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