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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

Impossible to Tell if Bearded Friend is Mennonite or Just Really Into Craft Beer

October 18, 2020 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN When a bearded young man named David moved to Goshen from the country a few months ago, his physical appearance had friendly locals unsure whether to invite him to a Bible study or […]

Unger Conviction

Christian Church Suddenly Realizes They’ve Been Singing Songs By Heretics For Decades

October 17, 2020 Andrew

KANSAS CITY, KS Since the mid-90s the EBMC church of Kansas City has been bringing catchy songs that were popular on Christian radio into their Sunday morning worship “set”, all under the assumption that anything […]

Unger & Thirst

Local Church to Host Weekly ‘Superspreader Potluck’

October 16, 2020 Andrew

SCHRATJLIJCH, ON The Schratjlijch Gospel Church is spreading more than just the good news this week after Pastor Dave announced the congregation would be hosting a weekly ‘Superspreader Potluck’ starting this Sunday at 12:30 right […]

The Daily Bonnet

Top Ten Things People Expect to See in a Mennonite-Filipina Romance Movie

October 15, 2020 Andrew

Okay, people, this is for real! In case you haven’t heard about it, director Sean Garrity has just released a new film called I Propose We Never See Each Other Again After Tonight. It’s a romantic […]

Unger Suspicion

Canadians Forced to Winter in Canada this Year

October 14, 2020 Andrew

TORONTO, ON For the first time in almost a hundred years, millions of Canadians will be forced to suffer through one of their own winters. “Diewel, if I had known it was this bad, I’d […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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