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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

“Oba, it’s Getting Dark, Henry”: Manitoba Couple Always in Bed by 4:30 this Time of Year

December 28, 2020 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Retired couple Henry and Barb Thiessen of North Kildonan are usually hitting the hay a little after 4 pm these days or just as soon as it gets dark. “We had a couple […]

Quizzes

“When Will I Get the Vaccine?” A Calculator for Mennonites

December 27, 2020 Andrew

Today we’re going to answer the question that every Mennonite’s been asking: “Oba, just when will I get the vaccine yet?” After answering just five questions, this handy calculator will help you figure out how […]

Unger & Thirst

Shocking Display of Sobriety Shown at Office Christmas Party

December 26, 2020 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Reports from the annual Christmas party of the law office of Dyck, Friesen, and Froese indicate that a shocking display of sobriety was demonstrated by almost all the employees. “It’s like this every […]

Quizzes

Real News or Daily Bonnet Quiz 2020

December 25, 2020 Andrew

Well, we can’t say that 2020 was boring, that’s for sure. However, with such an eventful year, it may be more difficult than usual to differentiate between the real news and satire. I’ve provided 20 […]

Unger & Thirst

Oma Toews Accidentally Uses Liquor Store Bags for the Tutes this Year

December 24, 2020 Andrew

MORDEN, MB Oma Penner had dozens of brown paper bags kicking around this year and decided to fill them with peanuts and drop them off at all her grandkid’s doorsteps. “Oba, looks like Oma’s been […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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