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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Rainy Day Equals Free Car Wash for Mennonite Man

March 25, 2021 Andrew

ROSTHERN, SK As soon as the skies started to get dark this afternoon, Peter Bueckert, 41, of Rosthern was quick to get his ’92 Ford Escort outside into the rain. “Free car wash!” yelled Bueckert […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Grandma Frees Up Some Freezer Space to Store Vaccines

March 24, 2021 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB Grandma Dueck of Rosenort spent her entire weekend making space in her freezer for the new Pfizer vaccine, which she heard requires super low temperatures that only a Mennonite grandma’s freezer can support. […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Woman Accidentally Butt Dials the Whole Congregation

March 23, 2021 Andrew

ST. CATHARINES, ON After uncomfortably shifting in her wooden pew for a full hour during the sermon, Mrs. Esau accidentally butt dialed the pastor, the pastor’s wife, five elders, every member of the women’s quilting […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonites 67 and Older Now Eligible for Schmaunt Fat Injections

March 22, 2021 Andrew

ALTONA, MB There was a scramble to get appointments at the Schmaunt Fat Injection Super Site in Winnipeg after the province lowered the age of eligibility to 67 this week. “Oba, finally, I can get […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Excited that Province has Opened Things Up for ‘El Fresca’ Dining

March 21, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Eleanor Loewen, 71, of North Kildonan is eager to take her 2L bottles of sugar free Fresca to one of those patios on Corydon this weekend, after the province announced she was now […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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