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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Mountain Lake Residents Still Looking for that “Mountain”

July 22, 2021 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN Residents of the flattest town in USA have been searching all over town for centuries trying to locate the mountain that gave the town it’s name. “Well, there’s a bit of a […]

The Daily Bonnet

Graduated Licensing Program Adds New ‘Winkler Driver’ Stage Below ‘Learner’

July 21, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB The Pembina Valley Department of Motor Vehicles has added a new stage to their four stage graduated license called the “Winkler Driver” stage, which is just before Learner stage. “We implemented the graduated […]

Unger & Thirst

Heroic Mennonite Woman Stops Her Husband from Eating the Soap

July 20, 2021 Andrew

ARBORG, MB It was a close call this week after Diane Penner stepped in just as the last second before her husband Earl was about to chow down on a particularly delicious-looking piece of soap. […]

Unger Suspicion

Canadian Prime Minister Mistakes ‘Trudope’ for a Brand of Cannabis

July 19, 2021 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON “It’s hard to keep up with all these cannabis companies,” said Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau at press conference in Ottawa today. “But lately I’ve been hearing people shout ‘Trudope’ everywhere I go, […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Leaves Church Early to “Check on the Smoker”

July 18, 2021 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Local man Randy Baerg, 41, had to leave church early this past Sunday to check on his smoker. As soon Jack Froese and Billy Wiebe got word that Randy was scooching down the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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