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Articles by Andrew

Unger Games

Edmonton Elks to Face the Calgary Grammar Police in Season Opener

June 13, 2021 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB The Edmonton Elks will face the Calgary Grammar Police in the CFL season opener on August 6 at Commonwealth Stadium. “It’ll be a battle for the ages as the Calgary Grammar Police will […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Hesitant to Get Vaccine after Learning He’ll Have to Start Attending Church Again

June 12, 2021 Andrew

REINLAND, MB The true source of southern Manitoba vaccine hesitancy has finally been discovered. A new survey indicates that fear of having to go to church again is causing a lot of folks in the […]

Unger Suspicion

Maxime Bernier Attracts Just Barely Enough Supporters to Get Himself Arrested

June 11, 2021 Andrew

ST. PIERRE, MB People’s Party leader Maxime Bernier was just beginning his cross-Manitoba ‘Freedom’ tour, when he was arrested in St. Pierre for attracting a massive crowd of six enthusiastic supporters, plus the guy who […]

Unger & Thirst

Altona Votes to Adopt Knackzoat as Legal Tender

June 10, 2021 Andrew

ALTONA, MB A referendum held in the southern Manitoba town of Altona this week resulted in a 92% vote in favour of adopting knackzoat as legal tender. “Currently we’ve set the exchange rate at one […]

The Daily Bonnet

Vaccine “Lottery” Rebranded as Vaccine “Quilt Raffle” for Pious Southern Manitobans

June 9, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Not wanting to participate in anything resembling a “lottery”,  Mennonites of the Winker area have agreed to get the vaccine so long as their names are thrown into the hat for the quilt […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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