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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Canadian Olympic Team to Wear Dirty Mennonite Overalls and Shit Kickers

April 16, 2021 Andrew

TOKYO, JAPAN The brand new outfit for the 2021 Canadian Olympic Team has been revealed: a pair of dirty Mennonite overalls and shit kicker boots. “We wanted the team to stand-out from the crowd, so […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite MP Caught Leaving His Webcam On During Meddachschlop

April 15, 2021 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON In what is certainly the most embarrassing moment in Canadian parliamentary history, a Mennonite MP left his webcam on while enjoying a lovely Sunday afternoon meddachschlop. “I’d like to apologize to everyone who […]

Unger Suspicion

Edmonton Area Pastor Sworn in as New Alberta Health Minister

April 13, 2021 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Alberta’s most popular and respected minister of religion has been given a new title: Minister of Health. “It was only natural that we appoint this recently jailed man as Minister of Health,” said […]

Unger Suspicion

Ottawa Senators Attendance Way Up this Year

April 12, 2021 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Literally tens of people, including a few security guards and the water boy, were in attendance at the Ottawa Senators home game last week, which is their highest attendance in ages. “It’s nice […]

Unger Suspicion

Jason Kenney Appointed Sunday School Coordinator at GraceLife Church

April 11, 2021 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Alberta Premier Jason Kenney has decided to set aside some time in his schedule to fill the vacant Sunday School coordinator job at the controversial GraceLife Church. “We’ve got to get to them […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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