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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Reminds Husband, “Gravy is not a beverage.”

September 26, 2021 Andrew

ST. CATHARINES, ON Earl Driedger, 61, of St. Catharines has been downing cups of beef gravy for years, much to the chagrin of his wife Brenda. “Just because you can drink it, doesn’t mean you […]

Unger Conviction

Man Who Attends Gender Segregated Church Really Upset About Not Being Allowed to Go Where He Wants to Go and Do What He Wants to Do

September 25, 2021 Andrew

SCHANZENHIMMEL, SK A Mennonite man from rural Saskatchewan is upset at the province this week after hearing he won’t be able to go just anywhere he wants unless he shows proof of vaccination. “I think […]

Unger & Thirst

How to Drink Whiskey: A Guide for Mennonites

September 24, 2021 Andrew

Whiskey is back! Even Mennonites are getting in on the action. However, to those who may be new to Mennonite whiskey drinking, we offer this handy guide. How to drink whiskey: a guide for Mennonites! […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Spends Six Hours Looking for the Right Tupperware Lid

September 23, 2021 Andrew

NIAGARA-ON-THE-LAKE, ON Wendy Kroeker, 71, got up extra early this morning in preparation for her appearance at the Niagara-on-the-Lake Mennonite Church potluck. “It’s not that my dish took all that long to prepare,” said Kroeker, […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Couple Can’t Figure Out Whether to Go to Abbotsford or Chilliwack ‘White Spot’

September 22, 2021 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC The Driedgers of Yarrow found themselves in quite the predicament this Sunday when they decided to venture down the highway for lunch and found far too many White Spots locations for them to […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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