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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Premier Goertzen Declares First Monday in September ‘Meddachschlop Day’

September 6, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB In his first order of business as new Manitoba premier, Steinbach MLA Kelvin Goertzen declared the first Monday in September to be ‘Meddachschlop Day.’ “Normally we’re only having a mid-afternoon nap on Sundays […]

The Daily Bonnet

Altona Bride Walks Up the Aisle to Herb Alpert’s “Spanish Flea”

September 5, 2021 Andrew

ALTONA, MB For new bride Leanne Driedger, 19, of Altona, it was easy to decide what song to play as she walked up the aisle to meet her groom Herman. “It has to be ‘Spanish […]

Unger Conviction

Oba, But Winkler Already is a “Sanctuary City” Yet

September 4, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB A protest in Winkler this week had some people calling for the creation of a “sanctuary city” where people would be free to do the opposite of what makes sense just to be […]

Unger Suspicion

Medical Experts Predict Fourth Wave of False Analogies

September 3, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Newly-released modelling suggests a coming fourth wave of false analogies sometime this fall. “If we don’t get things under control, we’re going to have a huge surge of folks comparing getting a needle […]

Unger Suspicion

Pallister to Live Out the Rest of His Days in Quaint Central American Colony

September 2, 2021 Andrew

BLUE CREEK COLONY, BELIZE A mix-up in paperwork had former Manitoba Premier Brian Pallister arriving at a conservative Mennonite colony in Belize, rather than the resort in Costa Rica he had intended. “Oba, waut on […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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