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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

Glass at Edge of Table Patiently Awaits Refill

October 17, 2021 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Local man Andy Koop, 81, placed his empty glass at the edge of the table at the Hamm Dawg Haus this Sunday in an effort to alert serving staff of his urgent need […]

Unger & Thirst

Winkler Vegans Make Exception for Farmer Sausage

October 16, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB The Pembina Vegan and Vegetarian Appreciation Society met last week and, after a heated discussion, voted overwhelmingly to allow for the consumption of one meat product and one meat product alone: farmer sausage. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Friesen from Reimer Avenue to Visit Reimer from Friesen Avenue

October 15, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Mr. Friesen of Reimer Avenue had a splendid evening chatting about politics and kids these days with Mr. Reimer of Friesen Avenue. “Last week I had Mr. Brandt of Loewen Blvd. and Mr. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Spectacular Northern Mennonites Light Up the Night Sky

October 14, 2021 Andrew

SELKIRK, MB Thousands of people across North America set up their cameras last night to witness a specular show by the Northern Mennonites. “We had Menno Simons. Dirk Willems. Even Miriam Toews made an appearance,” […]

Unger Suspicion

Netflix Finally Allows Young People to See that ‘Seinfeld’ is Way Better than ‘Friends’

October 13, 2021 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN For the millions of young people too young to really remember the 90s, the chance to finally see Seinfeld has blown more than a few minds. “Oh my gosh. I can’t believe I […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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