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Articles by Andrew

Unger Games

Ovechkin Gifts Putin with Record-Setting Puck

December 27, 2022 Andrew

MOSCOW, RUSSIA Just moments after an empty net goal put him second all-time in career goals, Capitals star Alexander Ovechkin tossed the historic puck into a manila envelope, slapped on a couple stamps, and mailed […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Launches New Line of $99 NFT Trading Cards

December 26, 2022 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC When Pastor Randy hinted at a ‘major announcement’ this upcoming Sunday, everyone thought it was going to be either a resignation or pregnancy, but instead Pastor Randy unveiled an amazing new series of […]

Unger Games

Empty Net Really Proud to Be Part of Ovechkin’s Historic Moment

December 25, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB An empty net from Winnipeg, Manitoba will forever be in the NHL record books after being scored on by Alexander Ovechkin, who moves to number 2 all time. “I have to admit that […]

The Daily Bonnet

Vote Now! Dutch Blitz vs. Crokinole!

December 24, 2022 Andrew

What will you be playing this Christmas? We’ve settled many Mennonite controversies around here. Jantsied vs. Ditsied, hymns vs. off-the-wall singing. Heck, we’ve even definitely solved the whole dunker vs. pourer controversy. But there is […]

Unger & Thirst

Entire House Filled with Aroma of Farmer Sausage

December 23, 2022 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB Joseph Kroeker was minding his own business doing the budget on the computer in the basement when he was stirred to his feet by the smell of farmer sausage wafting down the stairs. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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