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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

Paper Straw Totally Disintegrates Before Mennonite Man Gets to the Bottom of His Papsi

August 24, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Area man Art Brandt, 58, was enjoying a Papsi and Ravel at his favourite local burger joint this past week, when he discovered they were now offering paper straws instead of the ones […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Family Discovered Camping in Briercrest Parking Lot

August 23, 2022 Andrew

CARONPORT, SK The custodial crew at Briercrest Bible College and Seminary were in quite the state of shock this morning as they found that a whole nest of Mennonite families had pulled over for the […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Lusts After Another Man’s Plate of Food as it Passes

August 22, 2022 Andrew

FRESNO, CA Harry Ens of Fresno requested a private meeting with the pastor this week to discuss his propensity to lust after other men’s plates of food. “I can’t help myself,” said Ens. “Just as […]

Unger Games

Andrew Harris Shatters Record for Most Rushing Yards by a Steinbacher

August 21, 2022 Andrew

TORONTO, ON In what is certainly the most impressive feat of his illustrious career, Toronto Argos running back Andrew Harris has just become the first Steinbacher ever to reach 10,000 career rushing yards. “I know […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Couple Drives 20 Minutes to Another Restaurant to Avoid 5 Minute Wait at the First One

August 20, 2022 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK The Wiebes of Warman were really looking forward to an authentic southern BBQ experience at the Smokey Sausage Diner in Saskatoon this weekend. However, it was not meant to be, as the Wiebes […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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