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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Nostradamus Eerily Predicts the End of Twitter

November 15, 2022 Andrew

SAN FRANCISCO, CA For centuries French astrologer Nostradamus has been duping the gullible and/or intoxicated into believing his 16th centuries delusional ramblings had some predictive power. Well, it seems even the fall of Twitter has […]

The Daily Bonnet

Goshen College to Open New ‘Bad Library’ Right Next to the Good Library

November 14, 2022 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN A new addition is in the works on the picturesque campus of Goshen College – the highly anticipated Bad Library. “You know for years we’ve had the Good Library, but there was no […]

Unger Suspicion

Riders Fan Spends All Afternoon Watching PVRed Games From 10 Years Ago

November 13, 2022 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Just because the Riders missed the playoffs this year doesn’t mean households throughout the province won’t be tuned into the big game this afternoon. The Wiebes of Saskatoon, for example, will be firing […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Communities Eager to Put a Siemens in Charge

November 12, 2022 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC (with files from WINKLER, MB) There is a growing trend in traditionally-Mennonite communities across Canada – putting a Siemens in charge. This month civic elections in both Abbotsford and Winkler sent a Siemens to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Midterm ‘Red Wave’ Turns Out To Be Nothing But Farmer Sausage

November 11, 2022 Andrew

TOPEKA, KS Desperate for a narrative that would prove their analysis correct, dozens of political pundits are now saying that the “red wave” they’d been predicting for weeks was actually nothing more than a huge […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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