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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Taylor Swift Ticket Discovered at Thrift Store

December 1, 2022 Andrew

READING, PA After the demand for tickets was so high that it crashed the Ticketmaster site this week, Taylor Swift fans were left out of luck. That is, until one lucky soul in Reading, Pennsylvania […]

Unger Games

New Card Game ‘German Blitz’ Fails to Catch On

November 30, 2022 Andrew

BERLIN, GERMANY After visiting Pennsylvania last year, German inventor Andreas Fischer discovered a favourite new card game and decided to make a version of his own. Unfortunately for Fischer the game has not really caught […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman in Existential Crisis at Grocery Store

November 29, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area woman Anne Loewen, 71, was in the greatest existential crisis of her life this Saturday afternoon after encountering bags of frozen potato and cheddar perogies alongside the cottage cheese perogies she’s used […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Disaster Volunteers Brought in to Fix Ticketmaster

November 28, 2022 Andrew

PHOENIX, AZ After the Taylor Swift presale crashed the Ticketmaster website this week, Mennonite disaster volunteers have been flown to Ticketmaster headquarters to fix the problem. “I must say, we’ve never responded to a disaster […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Slops $1000 Worth of Caesar Salad on His Plate

November 27, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Abe Toews of Winkler was at the extended Toews gathering this weekend when he got to the end of the potluck line and decided he had just enough room on his plate for […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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