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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Library to Place Warning Labels on Edgy Mennonite Lit

November 27, 2023 Andrew

SCHANZENHIMMEL, SK In order to save folks from having to spend three seconds reading the back cover synopsis, the Schanzenhimmel library has decided that edgy Menno lit will now come with a prominent warning label. […]

Unger & Thirst

Area Woman Buys Extra Advent Calendar to Count Down the Days Until the Start of Her Actual Advent Calendar

November 26, 2023 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Local mom Kylie Neufeld, 37, is so excited for the chance to eat a little piece of chocolate each day this December that she has purchased an extra advent calendar which marks the […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Embarks on Worldwide ‘Eras Tour’

November 25, 2023 Andrew

FERNHEIM COLONY, PARAGUAY Pastor Dave R. Schmidt of Fernheim Colony, Paraguay has just announced a worldwide ‘Eras Tour’ during which he plans to preach sermons and sing songs representing 500 years of Mennonite history and […]

Unger Games

Indiana Church Starts Campaign to Help White Billionaire Pay Traffic Ticket

November 24, 2023 Andrew

INDIANAPOLIS, IN Indiana residents are being asked to reach deep into their pockets this week and lend a hand to local white billionaire and Indianapolis Colts owner Jim Irsay in his time of need. “We’ve […]

Unger the Influence

Tiny Village of Rosengard Overlooked in Throne Speech Yet Again

November 23, 2023 Andrew

ROSENGARD, MB All 15 residents of Rosengard, Manitoba are upset this week after Premier Wab Kinew’s throne speech failed to even mention them. “We are the 5341st largest community in this province,” said local man […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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