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Articles by Andrew

Unger Games

Matt Rempe Insists He’s Not a Rempel

April 22, 2024 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY The heroics of young New York Rangers centre Matt Rempe this weekend had folks, especially Mennonites, scratching their heads in puzzlement. “When I saw that in the Free Press, I thought for […]

Unger Games

Thousands Gather in Winnipeg for Wite-Out Party

April 21, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Streets are closed for several blocks surrounding the South Kildonan EMB Church this weekend as thousands are expected to gather for the first annual Wite-Out Party. “We’re correcting all the errors in the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Spends Romantic Date Night at Peavey Mart

April 20, 2024 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB With the kids at Oma and Opa’s house for the evening, Allan and Karen Martens were finally able to get some alone time at their local Peavey Mart. “Oh, Allan, you know what […]

Unger & Thirst

Thirst Trap? Oma Lures Opa with Fresh Homemade Iced Tea

April 19, 2024 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN Oma Wiebe, 71, has been hearing a lot about “thirst traps” from her grandchildren and figured it was finally time to post one of her own. “I know my Abe is always […]

The Daily Bonnet

Aritzia Introduces New Line of Long Denim Skirts for Women Wanting to Look Like They’re in Some Weird Religious Sect

April 18, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB There were lines outside Aritzia at Polo Park this week as the store launched its new line of long denim dresses and other products inspired by the plain dress sects of southern Manitoba. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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