ROSENGARD, MB
All 15 residents of Rosengard, Manitoba are upset this week after Premier Wab Kinew’s throne speech failed to even mention them.
“We are the 5341st largest community in this province,” said local man Kevin Falk. “I mean, the least he could do is at least mention us.”
According to statistics, Rosengard accounts for more than $15,000 in economic activity each year, and residents say it’s time those city folks took notice.
“If you’re going to mention Brandon and Winnipeg, surely we’ll get a shoutout,” said Falk. “Quite frankly I’m kind of insulted Kinew didn’t show up to our church faspa last week either.”
Premier Kinew assured Rosengard residents that the omission was not intentional and he is throwing no shade at the community.
“I’m not promising a paved road or something,” said Kinew. “But I assure you we’re taking Rosengard very seriously.”
In order to repair the damage, Kinew is planning on a good will tour with afternoon stops in the booming metropolises of Rosengard, Schanzenhimmel, Blumenhoffenbach, and Neudiewelfeld.