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Month: November 2023

Unger Suspicion

Five Nights at Frida’s is Scariest Mennonite Movie Ever

November 12, 2023 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Fans piling out of the theatre in La Crete, Alberta this week have declared Five Nights at Frida’s the scariest Mennonite movie ever made. “It’s about a young boy who has to spend […]

Unger & Thirst

Grandma Cookies Now Made from Freshly Harvested Grandmas

November 11, 2023 Andrew

BLUMENHOF, MB While modern technology has meant that Grandma Cookies are available year round, connoisseurs know that there’s nothing like a Grandma Cookie made from freshly harvested Grandmas. “We had a bumper crop of Grandmas […]

The Daily Bonnet

Andrew Unger Comes Out as a Swiftie

November 10, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB After years of priding himself with his lack of knowledge about any other music than 1960s jazz, the tremendous success of a recent article about Taylor Swift has satirist Andrew Unger rethinking his […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Accused of Flipping Off the Pastor

November 9, 2023 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Abe Eby of Kitchener, Ontario says it’s all just a misunderstanding. Witnesses say that this Sunday, during a particularly stirring sermon about tithing, Mr. Eby was seen “flipping the bird” at Pastor David. […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Woman Invents New Sport, ‘Dill Pickleball’

November 8, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Not content to play regular pickleball like the Englishers, area woman Ruth Loeppky is hoping a little dill and a lot of love will revolutionize recreation options in southern Manitoba. “Mennonites consume more […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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