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Month: August 2023

Unger Conviction

How to Choose Your New Colony Name: A Guide for Hutterites

August 18, 2023 Andrew

In most circumstances, Hutterites are a highly self-sufficient bunch, but in recent years it’s become clear that there was one essential resource they were running low on – satire. So, in an effort to build […]

Unger Suspicion

Avid Outdoorsman Spends All Day Indoors Wearing Bass Pro Shops Cap

August 17, 2023 Andrew

SEMINOLE, TX Area man Heinrich Wiens, 23, has a reputation around Seminole for being such an avid outdoorsman that he even wears a Bass Pro Shops cap. “And you can’t fake that,” said fellow hunting […]

Unger the Influence

Canadian Mennonites Blocked from Sharing Gossip on Facebook

August 16, 2023 Andrew

VINELAND, ON Facebook’s hardline stance against Canada’s controversial Bill C-18 has led to the blocking of Canadian news from a variety of sources including, but not limited to, Mrs. Ruth Kehler of Vineland, Ontario. “Did […]

Headline Contest

Mennonite Father Solves John Deere Loader Breakdown

August 14, 2023 Andrew

Congrats to this week’s winner Nemo Emanon! (Yes, I get the joke).  This was the closest vote we’ve had yet! It was very close to a three-way tie, but just minutes before the closing of […]

Unger Conviction

Lutheran Pastor Signs 1-Day Contract to Retire as a Mennonite

August 13, 2023 Andrew

FRIEDENSFELD, MB After a 15-year-career where he set nearly every record in the Evangelical Lutheran Church of Canada record book, Pastor David has shockingly decided to sign a 1-day contract to retire as a Mennonite. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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