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Month: July 2023

Unger the Influence

Daring Young Women Brave Enough to Wave Canadian Flag in Nation’s Capital

July 9, 2023 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Two young women, Beatrice Penner, 21, and Agatha Plett, 24, braved the streets of Toronto earlier this week to show off their nation’s colours. “I was worried people would think we were the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Hottest Day in History Has Mr. Friesen Considering a Name Change

July 8, 2023 Andrew

ROSTHERN, SK Days after scientists reported the hottest day in the earth’s history, area man Dick Friesen is considering changing his name to “more accurately reflect the current state of affairs.” “Diewel, it’s hot out,” […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Rules Thumbs Up Emoji Counts as Legally Binding Marriage Proposal

July 7, 2023 Andrew

ROSTHERN, SK The North Rosthern MB Church is inviting everyone to the wedding of Christopher Peters and Alison Funk this Sunday after Christopher inadvertently gave a “thumbs up” to one of Alison’s posts. “As far […]

Headline Contest

Choose your favourite headline for this photo

July 7, 2023 Andrew

The finalists are in for headline contest #7. Congrats to Justina Bergen, Connor Brick, and Darren Froese. Which of these is your favourite headline for this photo? Voting open until July 9th at 11:59 pm.

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Grandma Smuggles Baking Powder into White House, Plans to Make Zwieback

July 6, 2023 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Mrs. Janzen of Goessel, Kansas has been arrested in the nation’s capital this week after smuggling a Ziploc bag full of what she says is baking powder into the White House. “I thought […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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