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Month: August 2022

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Bureau of Investigations Raids Indiana Mansion

August 14, 2022 Andrew

ELKHART, IN More than a dozen buggies full of angry-looking Mennonites pulled up at the Elkhart, Indiana mansion of former General Mennonite Brethren Conference USA moderator, Donald J. Troyer, this week. “The MBI has credible […]

Unger & Thirst

Area Woman Pours Bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch Just to Drink the Milk Afterwards

August 13, 2022 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB Area woman Erin Heinrichs, 41, poured herself a nice bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch this morning and quickly wolfed down the cereal so she could get to that delicious milk left afterwards. “Ahh, […]

Unger Suspicion

Typo Turns Book Signing into Impromptu Musical Performance

August 12, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB A minor clerical error turned out to be not so minor for author Andrew Unger this weekend, as he was forced to pick up a microphone and belt out classic country songs to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Invade Downtown Toronto During Power Outage

August 11, 2022 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Thousands of Mennonites from Waterloo County fled to the big city of Toronto this afternoon after the word got out that the power was down. “Finally, those city folks are seeing the error […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Barely Recognizes Cousin He Hasn’t Seen Since Before the Pandemic

August 8, 2022 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB After not having seen his closest cousin in more than two years, local man Bob Peters walked right past cousin Tim in the knackzoat aisle at the Walmart this past week. “Oba […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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