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Month: August 2022

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Author Achieves Lifelong Dream of Getting Book in Church Library

August 7, 2022 Andrew

FRESNO, CA Renowned Mennonite author Eleanor Epp, 71, achieved the highest achievement of her literary career this week after two copies of her short story collection A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Menno […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Sunday School Class to Discuss Ethics of Doing ‘Cash Jobs’

August 6, 2022 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB The Eastside Grunthal MCB church will be discussing the ethics of dudes doing jobs for cash in the Sunday morning adult Sunday school class. “Okay, so Garth over there offered to give me […]

Unger & Thirst

Biblical Literalist Accidentally Eats Shellfish

August 5, 2022 Andrew

SEMINOLE, TX Area man James Dyck, who normally prides himself in his undying commitment to his own inerrant interpretation of Scripture, found himself in quite the pickle this afternoon at the local Red Lobster. “It […]

Unger Conviction

Chaste Young Mennonites Pledge to Save Hymnal-Sharing for Marriage

August 4, 2022 Andrew

GOESSEL, KS Thousands of young Mennonites at the annual ‘Chaste Your Future’ event came forward at the end of a stirring sermon by youth pastor Dan and pledged to save hymnal-sharing for marriage. “I know […]

Unger Games

All 3 Remaining Commonwealth Countries Guaranteed Medals in Every Sport

August 3, 2022 Andrew

BIRMINGHAM, UK All 3 or whatever remaining Commonwealth countries will be guaranteed a medal in every event this summer as they compete to see who’s the best at sports amongst these several nations. “More than […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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