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Month: September 2021

Unger & Thirst

Manitoba Sends Emergency Supply of Farmer Sausage to Alberta

September 20, 2021 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Cargo trains of farmer sausage have been loaded up in Winnipeg and are on their way to Edmonton this week after a massive sausage shortage struck the oil-rich province. “They always say Manitoba’s […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Celebrities Featured on New YouTube Series ‘Bland Ones’

September 19, 2021 Andrew

AKRON, PA After failing to convince any famous Mennos to be a guest on the popular show Hot Ones, a new YouTube series is aiming to be more fitting for the palate of Mennonite celebrities. […]

Unger Suspicion

Controversial Politician Supports Mandatory Vacations

September 18, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB A controversial candidate in the Winkler area has come out in favour of mandatory vacations, a plan that shockingly includes vacations even for dairy farmers. “We have to think of the health of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Can’t Decide Whether Politician He Hates is a Nazi or a Commie

September 17, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local man Mr. Fehr is struggling to decided whether a politician he hates is a Nazi or a Communist. “There aren’t any other options,” said Mr. Fehr. “If I disagree with that man […]

Unger Suspicion

Newlyweds Excited to Rip Each Other’s Masks Off in the Hotel Room Later Today

September 15, 2021 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Allan Wiebe and Lydia Brandt were married at the EMCB church this afternoon and are excited to rip off their masks at the Days Inn after the reception. “We started dating last spring, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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