The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

Month: September 2021

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Invite You to Celebrate their Heritage by Abstaining from Drinking and Dancing All Week

September 14, 2021 Andrew

ST. JACOBS, ON It’s Mennonite Heritage Week once again and that means all Canadians are welcome to join us as we refrain from drinking and dancing all this week. “It’s going to be to most […]

Unger Suspicion

Anti-Pantsers Demand Their Constitutional Rights

September 13, 2021 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Thousands of angry anti-pantsers invaded Leamington this week and decided to dine at local restaurants without sporting any bottoms whatsoever. “I’ve never had to use so much Lysol in all my life,” said […]

The Daily Bonnet

Top 10 Songs! Your Ultimate Knackzoat Radio Playlist!

September 12, 2021 Andrew

If you were raised in the area, you no doubt grew up listening to Radio Southern Manitoba. In between the funeral announcements and the trading post, you might even have listened to a few tunes. […]

Unger & Thirst

O’Toole Offers Mennonites Half Off at Chicken Chef

September 11, 2021 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Following up an election promise of discounts at Swiss Chalet, Conservative leader Erin O’Toole is now wooing Mennonite voters by promising a really good deal at Chicken Chef yet once. “Oba jo!” said […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonites Rush to Stock Up on ‘Reimermectin’

September 10, 2021 Andrew

PEADDSSTAUL, MB A new “miracle drug” called Reimermectin is flying off the shelves in southern Manitoba this week after rumours spread that it can cure all that ails you. “I’m not sure what’s in there, […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 3 4 5 6 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Mennonite Woman Fills Tub…Then Adds Water
    July 3, 2017
  • Murder Hornets Not Nearly So Scary When You Call them ‘Mord wille Bie’
    May 11, 2020
  • Millions of Homeless Canadian Refugees Flock to US Border After Heatwave Melts Igloos
    August 4, 2018
  • Jordan Peterson Refuses to Use God’s Preferred Pronouns
    May 30, 2018
  • Mennonite Hockey Fan Really Excited the Jats and K’Nacks are in Farst Place
    January 10, 2024

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved