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Month: November 2020

The Daily Bonnet

A Complete List of Steinbachers at the Anti-Mask Rally Today

November 14, 2020 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB A well-publicized anti-mask rally took place in Steinbach today. The rally featured speakers from across Manitoba, including two pastors, one chiropractor, a reeve, and a partridge in a pear tree. The rally was […]

Unger Conviction

Moses Walks Back the Ten Commandments

November 12, 2020 Andrew

MT. SINAI After forty long days up on the mountain, Moses came down this week and announced a brand new set of unchangeable commandments. Or, so he thought. Moments after chiseling the commandments in stone, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Frugal Manitobans Celebrate as Christmas Gatherings Banned this Year

November 11, 2020 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB It looks like frugal southern Manitobans will no longer have to worry about buying Barbies, Captain Underpants books and cheap blended whiskey for the relatives this year, as the maskless “freedom-fighters” among us have […]

Unger Conviction

“People just keep coming forward”: ‘Just As I Am’ Played Continuously Since 1967

November 10, 2020 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB When Mrs. Helen Penner sat down to plunk away at ‘Just as I am’ in 1967 at the quonset on Mill Street in Steinbach, little did she know that the response to the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach “Most Generous Community in Canada” Once Again After Surge in Covid Fines

November 9, 2020 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Steinbachers are known across Canada for their generosity, often topping the list of largest charitable donations per capita. This spirit of generosity appears to continue, this week, as thousands of Steinbachers have each […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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