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Month: October 2019

Unger & Thirst

Green Party Photoshops Yerba Mate into Elizabeth May’s Hand

October 7, 2019 Andrew

SIDNEY, BC The Green Party admitted in a press conference this week to having altered a photo of leader Elizabeth May to make it look like she was consuming yerba mate from a gourd. The […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach Residents Petition City to Build Massive 640 Acre Parking Lot Downtown

October 7, 2019 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB A consortium of concerned citizens has petitioned city council to abandon their plans for a state-of-the-art events centre downtown and instead build a massive 640 acre parking lot. “I’m hoping this gets approval, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Flock to Get their Hands on $65 Elton John T-Shirts

October 5, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Mennonites were crowding the hallways at the Bell MTS Place last night to get their hands on some $65 Elton John T-Shirts. “Oba, yo! Oh, look, a hoodie for $125 and for just […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Forms Committee Responsible for Forming Other Committees

October 3, 2019 Andrew

WATERLOO, ON The South Waterloo Mennonite Church has just formed a radical new committee whose sole responsibility is forming other committees. The new Committee Committee is made up of a select group of committee members […]

The Daily Bonnet

Party Leaders Score Big Points During Plautdietsch Language Debate

October 2, 2019 Andrew

PLUM COULEE, MB With the notable exception of Bloc Quebecois leader Yves-Francois Blanchet, who said he really didn’t care to get the Mennonite vote, all major party leaders were present at the Plautdietsch language debate […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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