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Month: June 2019

Unger Suspicion

How to Totally Rock Your Mother’s Hand-Me-Down Bathing Suit This Summer!

June 20, 2019 Andrew

Your mother’s given you a lot of things: her smile, her hips, and probably some used clothes you just don’t know what the heck to do with. Well, don’t worry, ladies! There’s no reason to […]

Unger Suspicion

Embarrassed Manitoba Premier Seeks Treatment for Premature Election

June 19, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Yes, men, it happens to everybody. Even the Premier of Manitoba. Once thought to have the “strength and stamina of a mule,” this week Premier Pallister suffered an embarrassing bout of premature election. […]

The Daily Bonnet

New York Girl Longs for a Life in Steinbach

June 18, 2019 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY 16-year-old Nicole, who has lived her entire life in the bustling heart of East Village in Manhattan, recently heard about this small town called Steinbach, which immediately spurred her imagination. “Sometimes I […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler Man Insists on Placing Lawn Chair in Front Yard

June 17, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Local man Jakob Kornelsen, 43, thought it was a fabulously grand idea to put his brand new cheap ass lawn chair in the front yard where he could watch the neighbours. “I knack […]

Unger & Thirst

Generous Mennonite Family Treats Dad to an Order of Mozza Sticks

June 16, 2019 Andrew

WATERLOO, ON The generous Weaver family of Waterloo treated their beloved Dad to a delicious order of Applebee’s mozza sticks and marinara sauce this Sunday. “These mozza sticks represent all that you mean to us, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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