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Month: May 2019

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Sews World’s Largest Rag Rug

May 5, 2019 Andrew

BLUMENHOF, MB Working at a feverish pace while her husband Norm watched Jets games this winter, Mrs. Edna Dueck of Blumenhof is on pace to create the world’s largest rag rug by the end of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Hasn’t Used Her Wedding China in Over Forty Years

May 4, 2019 Andrew

AYLMER, ON In a heartfelt confession during church prayer time this week, Mrs. Froese, 65, of Aylmer confessed that she hadn’t used her wedding china in nearly four decades. “It’s just sat in my china […]

The Daily Bonnet

Net Worth of All Your Favourite Mennonite Celebrities

May 3, 2019 Andrew

If you’ve Google a favourite celebrity in the last few years, you’ve probably noticed that one of the first things to pop up is their estimated net worth. Never wanting to pass up the opportunity […]

Unger & Thirst

Sound of Knacking Zoat Used as Mennonite Mating Call

May 2, 2019 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB Young Mennonite men throughout the Grunthal region, including Gnadenfeld, Kronsgard, and Alt-Bergfeld, have been loudly knacking their zoat on the back of Ernie Friesen’s pick-up truck this weekend in hopes of attracting eligible […]

Unger Suspicion

Sad Lonely Canadian Man Still Watching Hockey for Some Reason

May 1, 2019 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Darrel Schmidt, 41, of Toronto is still “really into” the NHL playoffs despite the fact that any real reason to follow hockey ended sometime last week. “After the Maple Leafs are out and […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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