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Month: March 2019

Unger & Thirst

Stash of Roll Kuchen Discovered Beneath Trudeau’s Desk

March 21, 2019 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Prime Minister Justin Trudeau had to apologize to the Canadian people once again this past week after a stash of delicious roll kuchen was discovered hidden beneath his desk in the House of […]

Unger Suspicion

Granola Shortage Creates Panic in Wolseley

March 20, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB A massive granola shortage this spring has residents of the Winnipeg neighbourhood of Wolseley in quite the panic. Desperate residents met at an area United church to discuss the shortage. “Went to the […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Woman Falls Way Behind on Her Devotions

March 20, 2019 Andrew

NORTH KILDONAN, MB Mrs. Kehler of North Kildonan is being punished and forced to clean up after the next five faspas when it was discovered that she had not been keeping up with her devotions. […]

The Daily Bonnet

How to Sneak Snacks into the Movie Theatre: A Guide for Cheap Mennonites

March 19, 2019 Andrew

Whether it’s a rock concert, sporting event, or the latest blockbuster movie, oba, those snacks can be expensive! I mean who is really paying $15 for a Bud Light at a Jets game or $25 […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Creates ’50 Shades of Grey’-Inspired Pleasure Room

March 18, 2019 Andrew

WATERLOO, ON This past winter, Mr. Schneider of Waterloo, Ontario has been working day and night on his “pleasure room,” an area of the church basement that he hopes will bring hours of satisfaction to […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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