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Month: May 2017

The Daily Bonnet

Chaos Erupts After Pooper Scooper is Confused for BBQ Tongs

May 22, 2017 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Chaos erupted at the Loewen family BBQ at Prince’s Island Park this weekend when the bbq tongs were mixed up with the dog’s pooper scooper. “I’m not sure how it happened, but somehow the […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Claims ‘Prophetic Gift’ After Predicting Rain this May Long Weekend

May 21, 2017 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Local man Andrew R. Penner has declared himself a prophet of God after he accurately predicted there would be heavy rain this Victoria Day long weekend. “See, look, I told you so,” said […]

Unger Conviction

Guest Gets Totally Lost on the Way to 100 Huntley Street

May 21, 2017 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Hosts of popular Christian television program 100 Huntley Street were sent into a panic this past Thursday as CCM recording artist Dan Belle didn’t show up on time for the taping. “I had […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Child Accepts the Lord in the Womb

May 20, 2017 Andrew

WICHITA, KS Representatives of the Guinness Book of Records were on hand to witness the birth of Samantha Lois Penner, the youngest ever religious convert in the history of the Christian church. “We knew this was […]

The Daily Bonnet

Friesen Siblings Gather for 20 Year Home School Reunion

May 20, 2017 Andrew

ALTONA, MB The Friesen siblings of Altona gathered this past week at Mom and Dad’s bungalow to celebrate their 20-year home school reunion. “We’re the graduating class of 1997,” said Dave, who works at the local […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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