WASHINGTON, DC
Desperate the quell a rising tide of angry Mennonite voters, the White House clarified this afternoon that the new ballroom would not be used for dancing.
“Only faspas and quilt auctions,” said press secretary Karoline Leavitt. “We’re also going to dedicate 100 square feet for meat-canning.”
The announcement has startled some folks who can’t figure out why $200 million is being spent for what is turning out to be nothing more than a church gymnasium.
“Don’t worry, we’re still going to have the Dutch Blitz tournaments as planned,” said Leavitt. “It’s just that in this day and age we can never be too careful when it comes to dancing.”
Leavitt also hinted at the fact she was really counting on the Mennonite vote in the next election.
“If we want to get that man elected a third time, we’re going to need the Mennonites,” said Leavitt. “And if that means we’re going to have to get Donny to curtail the blasting of YMCA on every occasion, then so be it.”
The new “ballroom” will also feature an indoor volleyball court for after church matches and a $80 million gold-plated horseshoes pit.
