Canada Day Ruined as Stoned Singer Totally Butchers ‘Oh Canada’


Thousands gathered in Ottawa today to celebrate the nation’s birthday. However, more than a few people, including one of the anthem singers, were in the city to celebrate a little more than just yet another Canada Day.

“Quite frankly, it was more like Woodstock than Canada Day,” said one observer who asked to be called Moonfish. “Everyone was strung out and the anthem singer stopped right in the middle of ‘O Canada’ with an uncontrollable fit of the giggles. Oh, well, I guess that’s just the way it is from now on.”

In addition to the giggling fit, the stoned version of ‘O Canada’ also included snippets of Jefferson Airplane lyrics and a guitar solo by some guy trying to be Hendrix.

“I’ve never heard anyone weave ‘one pill makes you larger, and one pill makes you small’ into the anthem before,” said Moonfish. “I think it works!”

The entire city of Ottawa was in a haze of cannabis smoke, which caused some discomfort for wildlife and bureaucrats. In other news, however, poutine sales were through the roof.

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