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The Daily Bonnet

Andrew Unger Slowly Becoming Rudy Wiebe

April 9, 2022 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Fledgling Mennonite writer Andrew Unger woke up this morning and realized that somehow, somewhere along the way, he began to look exactly like literary icon Rudy Wiebe. “I guess it was a subconscious […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Writer Starts Lucrative New Business Proofreading Protest Signs

March 4, 2022 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Local Mennonite writer Wilma Thiessen, 41, has started a lucrative new side hustle correcting spelling and grammar on protest signs. “Ah, see, you need two Ps in ‘oppression’ there, Mr. Klassen,” said Thiessen. […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Weekly to Feature Provocative Centrefold

September 9, 2021 Andrew

ELIDA, OH In an effort to boost subscriptions, a prominent Mennonite church publication will now feature a new provocative centrefold each week. “In coming weeks we’ve got some highly provocative photos of two Calvinists and […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Students Pin Malcolm Gladwell Posters All Over Their Lockers

September 7, 2021 Andrew

WATERLOO, ON Students at Conrad Grebel University College were shown to their lockers this week and immediately began plastering Malcolm Gladwell posters all over them. “It used to be all Stanley Hauerwas, but young Mennonites […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach Man Plans to Review New Miriam Toews Book Without Even Having Read It

August 29, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Even though he has no intention of reading it, local man and avid Danny Orlis reader Mr. Klippenstein, 71, is absolutely certain he knows all there is to know about Miriam Toews’ new […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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