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The Daily Bonnet

‘Artsy’ Mennonite Director to Release Documentary ‘My Vanapag’

February 14, 2020 Andrew

NORTH KILDONAN, MB Guy Martens, an independant film-maker from North Kildonan who specializes in making films “da way ve used to in the good old days before sound took over and ruined averyting,” is set […]

Unger Suspicion

Trudeau Grows Authentic Menno Beard

January 18, 2020 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB At meetings in Winnipeg this week, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau revealed his amazing new Menno beard. “I can’t figure it out. When we last saw him, it was barely stubble, and now he’s […]

Unger Suspicion

“What is this – Calgary?” Winnipeg Man Can’t Figure Out Warm Holiday Temperatures

December 28, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After temperatures soared into the single digits below zero, (Okay, Americans, I mean just below zero Celsius), North Kildonan resident Peter Wiens decided to strip to his undies and take a nice swim […]

Unger Games

NFL to Adopt New “Thriftier” 80-Yard Field for Upcoming Season

August 25, 2019 Andrew

OAKLAND, CA Spurred on by all the positive feedback from the game in Winnipeg last week, the National Football League formally announced today that they would be using a much shorter and “thriftier” field for […]

Unger Suspicion

7 Signs Your Co-Worker was at Folk Fest this Weekend

July 15, 2019 Andrew

Oba, nay! So some of the Englishers yet have been going to the Bard’s Hell Park over there for the Vanapag Folks Festival. I know that no good Mannanites were there, especially since they need […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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