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winnipeg

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Transit Now Offering Ark Service

March 23, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Starting this Sunday, the public transit service in Manitoba’s largest city will now include trips across town via ark. “This is something we’ve needed for years,” said mayor Brian Bowman. “Every spring I […]

Unger Suspicion

Bombers to Win Grey Cup Every Day Just So Portage and Main Can Stay Open to Pedestrians

December 14, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The Winnipeg Blue Bombers have decided to do a great service to the community by winning the Grey Cup every afternoon around 4 pm just so that pedestrians will have access to Portage […]

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeger Super Jealous of All the Attention Brandon’s Been Getting Lately

November 8, 2021 Andrew

BRANDON, MB One resident of Manitoba’s largest city is sick and tired of all the support arch-rival Brandon’s been getting as of late. “Everyone’s all ‘Let’s go Brandon, let’s go!” explained hurt U of W […]

Unger Suspicion

Heather Stefanson Finds Huge Mound of Zoat Left Over in Premier’s Office

November 2, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After two months in office, Manitoba’s first Mennonite premier sure knacked a lot of zoat. This, according to new premier Heather Stefanson, who had to hire a backhoe to remove all of Kelvin […]

The Daily Bonnet

Top Ten Things to Expect Now that a Steinbacher is in Charge

September 1, 2021 Andrew

For the first time in 151 years a Steinbacher, Kelvin Goertzen, was sworn in as Manitoba Premier this morning, and many Winnipeggers are wondering just what to expect over the next sixty days of his […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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