The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

winnipeg jets

Unger Games

Patrik Laine Traded to the Blumenort Menno Knights

October 25, 2020 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB After months of speculation, the Winnipeg Jets have revealed that 22-year-old superstar Patrik Laine and his seven million dollar a year salary has been traded to the Blumenort Menno Knights of the Hanover-Tache […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Says Words He’s Never Uttered Before After Scheifele Gets Injured

August 1, 2020 Andrew

KOLA, MB Moments after Winnipeg Jets superstar Mark Scheifele was dragged off the ice with an injury in game one of the play-in series versus the Calgary Flames, the Hiebert family of Kola was treated […]

Unger Games

This Year’s Stanley Cup to be Awarded to NHL’s Most Deserving Fans

March 26, 2020 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Since the cancellation of the NHL season is more-or-less a foregone conclusion by now, NHL executives have decided to award the Stanley Cup to the league’s most deserving fanbase, the Winnipeg Jets. “We […]

Unger Suspicion

Dustin Byfuglien Retires from NHL to Work on Mennonite Farm

October 25, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Mysteriously absent from the Winnipeg Jets lineup so far this season, rumours have surfaced that Dustin Byfuglien is contemplating retirement to pursue his lifelong dream of working for minimum wage on a Mennonite […]

Unger Games

Desperate Winnipeg Jets Recruiting Farm Boys Near Kleefeld

July 16, 2019 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB After losing player after player to free agency this summer, the Winnipeg Jets have had to get a little creative to fill their roster for next season. “We’re basically going out into the […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 6 7 8 … 12 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Maple Leafs Hire Loblaws CEO Galen Weston to Artificially Inflate Fan Expectations
    May 13, 2024
  • Funk and Penner Endorse Penner for Goertzen’s Job Reports Peters from Reimer
    March 1, 2026
  • Local Pastor Preaches Hour-Long Sermon About Why ‘Die Hard’ is a Christmas Movie
    December 7, 2018
  • Poll: Should Elon Musk Take Over The Daily Bonnet?
    December 21, 2022
  • Top Local Chefs to Stage Fancy Dinner on Frozen Blumenort Lagoon
    January 19, 2018

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved