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winnipeg jets

Unger Games

Winnipeg Jets Players Offered Part Time Jobs at Portage Place

March 11, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Rumours are swirling about the potential sale of Portage Place to True North, which is really exciting for all the Jets players clamouring to get part time custodial jobs. “I realized hockey wasn’t […]

Unger Games

Winnipeg Jets Trade for the Wrong Toews

January 23, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Rumours have been swirling for weeks that Chicago Blackhawks superstar Jonathan Toews might be on the trading block, and what better place for him to land than in his hometown of Winnipeg. Unfortunately […]

Unger Games

Winnipeg Man Hospitalized After Dangerous Fall from Jets’ Bandwagon

January 20, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Area man Paul Kroeker, 51, was rushed to the hospital last night after a dangerous fall off the Winnipeg Jets’ bandwagon. “Jets suck! Fire Hellebuyck! Jets suck!” yelled Kroeker, as paramedics loaded him […]

Unger Games

Empty Net Really Proud to Be Part of Ovechkin’s Historic Moment

December 25, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB An empty net from Winnipeg, Manitoba will forever be in the NHL record books after being scored on by Alexander Ovechkin, who moves to number 2 all time. “I have to admit that […]

Unger Suspicion

Man in Cheetos-Stained Boxer Shorts Appointed Captain of the Winnipeg Jets

September 17, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Big news in the hockey world this week as local mom’s basement-dweller Al Kroeker, 38, of Winnipeg has just been appointed Captain of the Winnipeg Jets for the upcoming season. “It looks like […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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