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winnipeg jets

Unger Games

Jonathan Toews Signs with Only Team that Knows How to Pronounce His Last Name Correctly

June 20, 2025 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The Winnipeg Jets scored a major coup this week after signing hometown hero and NHL legend Jonathan Toews, who, according to rumours, signed with the team exclusively because “they’re the only ones who […]

Unger Games

Jets Fan Relieved He Finally Has His Evenings Free to Get Some Yardwork Done

May 14, 2025 Andrew

RIVERTON, MB The Winnipeg Jets’ exciting, but brief, playoff run this year has been a huge setback for the Interlake’s biggest Jets fan Art Berg, 63, who’s been holed up inside every evening neglecting his […]

Unger Games

Dallas Stars Sign Lionel Messi Now that NHL Allows Kicking

May 12, 2025 Andrew

DALLAS, TX Minutes after discovering the NHL has changed its rule and now allows pucks to be kicked into the net, Dallas Stars GM Jim Nill got on the phone with soccer superstar Lionel Messi. […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Scores with 1.6 Seconds Left Sending Sermon into Double Overtime

May 5, 2025 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB With just seconds to go in the service, Pastor Karl really laid home a particularly profound point about atonement that really got everyone fired up and eventually sent the sermon into double overtime. […]

Unger Games

Jets Mesmerized By the Big City Sights and Sounds of St. Louis, Population 301,578

April 26, 2025 Andrew

ST. LOUIS, MO It’s long been known that professional athletes are highly susceptible to distractions while on the road. There’s no better example of this than the poor performance of the Winnipeg Jets, who are […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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