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The Daily Bonnet

Abbotsford Family Instantly Regrets Agreeing to Spring Break in Manitoba This Year

April 1, 2022 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC The Kehlers of Abbotsford were on a plane back to the BC the moment they touched down in Winnipeg for so-called Spring Break. “Jauma, they’ve still got snow on the ground! And where […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Government Rebrands Spring Break as ‘Winter Break Part 2’

March 25, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB In an effort to more accurately reflect the realities of the situation, the Manitoba government has decided to rebrand Spring Break 2022 as ‘Winter Break Part 2.’ Area students were super excited about […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Man Intends to Snowmobile Well Into June This Year

March 9, 2022 Andrew

WHITEMOUTH, MB Local man Al Kehler, 61, is excited for the 2022 snowmobile season and is full expecting the trails to be groomed and perfect for sledding until at least mid-June. “Ahh, finally a good […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Government Declares Winter Over as of March 1

March 3, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Despite a preponderance of evidence to the contrary, winter is officially over, according to the Manitoba government who picked March 1 as the “first day of spring.” “What the heck? I’ve still got […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Woman Wears Face Mask Just to Keep Warm

December 19, 2021 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Local woman Rachel Driedger, 23, doesn’t bother to take her face mask off, even when she’s outdoors, not with temperatures dropping to -20 this week. “It’s better than a scarf,” says Driedger. “I […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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