The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About The Unger Review
  • Andrew Unger

walmart

The Daily Bonnet

Hopes of McDonald’s Dashed as Mennonite Children Told “We Have Perfectly Good Food at Home!”

May 30, 2022 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON The Hildebrandt family drove into the big city of Leamington this weekend to pick up a truck load of items at the local Walmart. Hopes of stopping for Happy Meals were quickly dashed, […]

Unger Suspicion

Shocking! Man in Camo Shorts Not Even in the Military

March 29, 2022 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN Area accountant Gord Peters was seen in a local Walmart wearing a pair of camo shorts this weekend. “Waut de hunt! Those don’t look like military-issue cargo shorts to me,” said observer […]

The Daily Bonnet

Festive Mennonite Couple Fills House to the Brim with Totally Useless Shit

December 13, 2017 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Local couple Ryan and Diane Hiebert of Abbotsford have busied themselves buying truckloads of completely useless shit for the holiday season. It’s been quite stressful for the couple as their list of people […]

The Daily Bonnet

2016 Mennonite Christmas Shopping Guide – Ten Thousand Villages vs. Wal-Mart

December 10, 2016 Andrew

With the Christmas season fast approaching, Mennonites around the globe are faced with a quite the quandary about where to spend their holiday dollars (or guaraní). On the one hand, Mennonites are more-or-less obliged to get the […]

Posts pagination

« 1 2
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Mennonites Gather in Winnipeg to Decide which Writer to Excommunicate Next
    June 12, 2025
  • MP Candice Bergen Steps Down to Return to Glamorous Life in Hollywood
    February 3, 2023
  • Canadian Prime Minister Declines Offer to Have Sex with Protestor
    July 17, 2023
  • McDonalds Adds ‘Mennonite Tomato Soup’ Made From Ketchup Packets to Menu
    September 19, 2016
  • Jantsied Man in Denial that He’s from Jantsied
    November 30, 2021

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved