HUBBARD, OR According to the FDA, Americans consume more than 2 million tons of molasses baked beans every 4th of July. The volume of baked bean consumption has some officials worried about air quality this […]
ABBOTSFORD, BC Residents of Sumas, Washington were completely baffled by the huge display of fireworks over the border in Abbotsford, BC this evening. “What are they doing? Practicing?” pondered Mrs. Schmidt of Sumas. “They had […]
ELKHART, IN Millions of Americans have signed a petition to stop Canada from celebrating Thanksgiving early. “This premature thankfulness has got to stop,” said Mr. Frey of Elkhart, Indiana. “I’ve got some cousins up there […]
NEW YORK, NY Forbes Magazine has just released a list of the richest oligarchs in America. On the top of the list were beloved American oligarchs Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerburg, and Bill Gates. […]
REGINA, SK Missing for nearly forty years, Andrew Scheer’s American passport was discovered wedged between two old couch cushions in a suburban Regina bungalow this week. “It was right there next to a few Cheetos […]
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