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Unger the Influence

Federal Court Says Trudeau’s Use of Pineapple on Pizza was “Unjustified”

January 26, 2024 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON A federal judge has just ruled that Prime Minister Justin Trudeau brazenly violated the rights of several pizzas in 2022 by placing pineapple right there next to the ham. “Given the circumstances, I […]

Unger the Influence

Canadian Prime Minister Declines Offer to Have Sex with Protestor

July 17, 2023 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON A memo released by the PMO this week has finally provided a response to the hundreds of offers for intimate relations with the Prime Minister of Canada that have arisen over the past […]

Unger the Influence

Morden to Probe Alleged Winkler Election Interference

March 7, 2023 Andrew

MORDEN, MB New evidence suggests Winklerites were trying to influence the voting at the Miss Morden Corn and Apple Festival pageant last year. This finding greatly concerns Morden’s Corn and Apple committee who are going […]

Unger Suspicion

Trudeau Ensures Mennonites Bill C-21 Will Not Affect Their Right to Bare Arms

December 5, 2022 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Mennonites across Canada breathed a sigh of relief today, after Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced that Bill C-21 is being carefully reviewed to ensure it will not impede on their right to show […]

Unger Suspicion

Canadian Gun Enthusiasts Relieved that Covid-19s Were Left Off Trudeau’s List

May 2, 2020 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON There was one noticeable item missing from Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s list of more than 1500 banned weapons, that being the highly dangerous Covid-19. “Darn it all. I told Freeland to check […]

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