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toronto

Unger Suspicion

Aylmer Pastor Awarded Nation’s Highest Honour: A Stained Dirty Star on Canada’s Walk of Fame

March 28, 2021 Andrew

TORONTO, ON A controversial Aylmer-area “pastor” is set to receive Canada’s highest honour: a stained dirty star caked with gum somewhere on a urine-drenched Toronto sidewalk. “After seeing all the good he’s been doing for […]

Unger Games

SkyDome to Be Replaced with Massive Doug Ford Statue

December 1, 2020 Andrew

TORONTO, ON The 30-year-old Rogers Centre, aka SkyDome, in downtown Toronto is set for demolition this winter, but locals don’t have to wait long for the newest Toronto attraction as a massive 100-meter tall statue […]

Unger Suspicion

Etobicoke Eager to Become the New Steinbach

November 28, 2020 Andrew

ETOBICOKE, ON With barbecue joints defying health orders and hundreds of partiers caught not social distancing in a storage locker, the community of Etobicoke, Ontario is eagerly seeking to dethrone Steinbach, Manitoba as the “Covid […]

Unger Suspicion

Maple Leafs to Social Distance from the Cup Again this Year

July 2, 2020 Andrew

TORONTO, ON While the upcoming NHL season may be a bit strange for most of the other teams, it’s business as usual for the Toronto Maple Leafs who have been practicing social distancing from the […]

Unger & Thirst

Toronto Woman Caught Smuggling Three Suitcases Full of Farmer Sausage

September 17, 2019 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Mrs. Wiebe, 47, of Toronto was caught at the Pearson Airport this week with three suitcases packed full of delicious Mennonite farmer sausage that she obtained on a recent trip to southern Manitoba. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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