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The Daily Bonnet

‘The Voice’ to Feature Nothing but Mennonite Family Trios from Now On

December 15, 2021 Andrew

PETTISVILLE, OH After the success of Girl Named Tom this year, NBC’s ‘The Voice’ has committed to exclusively bringing in Mennonite singing groups from now on. “The Liechtys showed us that Mennonites could sing a […]

Unger Suspicion

Netflix Finally Allows Young People to See that ‘Seinfeld’ is Way Better than ‘Friends’

October 13, 2021 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN For the millions of young people too young to really remember the 90s, the chance to finally see Seinfeld has blown more than a few minds. “Oh my gosh. I can’t believe I […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Child Forced to Miss ‘Wonderful World of Disney’ to Attend Evening Service

June 18, 2021 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Collin Berg, 7, of Mitchell, Manitoba had to miss The Wonderful World of Disney yet again this weekend in order to attend the EMBC faspa and evening service. “Now I’ll never know what happens […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Awarded Presidential Medal of Freedom for Lasting All 20 Seasons Without Watching the Kardashians

June 15, 2021 Andrew

SEMINOLE, TX Mr. Dueck, 37 of Seminole, Texas is being granted the Presidential Medal of Freedom this week for becoming the sole American survivor of the Kardashian years. “He is a beacon of hope in […]

Unger Suspicion

Montrealers Just Don’t Take Cops Seriously Anymore After Decades of ‘Just for Laughs’ Gags

May 31, 2021 Andrew

MONTREAL, QC Residents of Canada’s second largest city simply do not take cops seriously anymore after decades of the popular TV show Just pour rire: Les Gags. Mr. Tremblay, for example, was pulled over for going […]

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