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Unger & Thirst

Second Bag of Old Dutch Chips Discovered in Box

May 15, 2022 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Area Mennonites are calling it a miracle after a second bag of onion and garlic “chaps” were discovered in an Old Dutch box this weekend. “All these years I never looked past that […]

The Daily Bonnet

Word Bird Accidentally Gives Fred Penner Low German Word

May 12, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Producers were scrambling on the set of Fred Penner’s Place this week after the beloved children’s entertainer was given the Low German word “gnurpel” by the Word Bird. “Waut de schissjat is going […]

The Daily Bonnet

Netflix to Crack Down on Mennonites Sharing Passwords

May 6, 2022 Andrew

LOS GATOS, CA After losing more than 200,000 subscribers and millions of dollars last month, streaming service Netflix plans to crack down on the more than 1.5 million Reimers all sharing the same Netflix password. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Caught Watching Figure Skating

February 15, 2022 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Mr. Noah Eby of Kitchener had to quickly change the channel and pretend to be watching politicians yell at each other, after his wife Mary walked in on him during the pair skating […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Satirist Shunned After Appearing on Television

January 4, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB An unphotoshopped photo of Mennonite satirist and longtime Steinbach resident Andrew Unger has surfaced on Reddit this week, apparently showing the writer on a television show of some sort. “Oba, we’ve kicked people […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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