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Unger Suspicion

Fraser Valley Renamed ‘Frasier Valley’ After Kelsey Grammer Visit

July 20, 2022 Andrew

GREENDALE, BC A recent visit to the region by 90s sitcom star Kelsey Grammer has caused such a stir that locals have petitioned authorities to rename the area ‘Frasier Valley.’ “We’ve never had such a […]

Unger Suspicion

‘Reach for the Top’ Contestant Buzzes in 40 Years Too Late

June 8, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Audiences of the fast-paced high school quiz show ‘Reach for the Top’ have been waiting well over 40 years for contestant Earl Unger to buzz in with the correct answer to the question, […]

Unger & Thirst

Second Bag of Old Dutch Chips Discovered in Box

May 15, 2022 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Area Mennonites are calling it a miracle after a second bag of onion and garlic “chaps” were discovered in an Old Dutch box this weekend. “All these years I never looked past that […]

The Daily Bonnet

Word Bird Accidentally Gives Fred Penner Low German Word

May 12, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Producers were scrambling on the set of Fred Penner’s Place this week after the beloved children’s entertainer was given the Low German word “gnurpel” by the Word Bird. “Waut de schissjat is going […]

The Daily Bonnet

Netflix to Crack Down on Mennonites Sharing Passwords

May 6, 2022 Andrew

LOS GATOS, CA After losing more than 200,000 subscribers and millions of dollars last month, streaming service Netflix plans to crack down on the more than 1.5 million Reimers all sharing the same Netflix password. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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