LANCASTER, PA CNN is expecting record viewership tonight as it plans for the first ever live broadcast of a Mennonite elder board meeting. “Some people haven’t been paying attention to the current Mennonite election cycle and […]
NEW YORK, NY Following a $12 billion bid for the notorious news outlet, a group of pacifist Mennonite investors has successfully taken ownership of Fox News and are planning to turn it into a channel that promotes […]
KLEEFELD, MB Neophyte television-watcher Abe R. Dyck of Kleefeld became completely disoriented this past week while binge-watching episodes of hit 90’s TV show ‘Seinfeld’ at his nephew’s home. “He’d never heard of the show before,” […]
SALT LAKE CITY, UT South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone have felt the burning in the bosom and have decided to join the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. In addition to […]
LAMPETER SQUARE, PA Highly revered as a sacred document of Anabaptist martyrdom throughout history, the 17th century book ‘Martyrs Mirror’ is to be updated to include modern martyrdoms like the time the guy from Duck […]
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