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television

Unger Conviction

100 Million Viewers Expected to Watch Tonight’s Televised Mennonite Elder Board Meeting

September 26, 2016 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA CNN is expecting record viewership tonight as it plans for the first ever live broadcast of a Mennonite elder board meeting. “Some people haven’t been paying attention to the current Mennonite election cycle and […]

Unger Suspicion

Fox News Sold to Group of Mennonite Investors; New Channel to Promote ‘Peace, Love, and Understanding’

September 13, 2016 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY Following a $12 billion bid for the notorious news outlet, a group of pacifist Mennonite investors has successfully taken ownership of Fox News and are planning to turn it into a channel that promotes […]

Unger Suspicion

‘Seinfeld’ Re-runs Totally Confuse Local Mennonite Man

July 14, 2016 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB Neophyte television-watcher Abe R. Dyck of Kleefeld became completely disoriented this past week while binge-watching episodes of hit 90’s TV show ‘Seinfeld’ at his nephew’s home. “He’d never heard of the show before,” […]

Unger Suspicion

Trey Parker and Matt Stone Convert to Mormonism

July 7, 2016 Andrew

SALT LAKE CITY, UT South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone have felt the burning in the bosom and have decided to join the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. In addition to […]

Unger Suspicion

New Edition of ‘Martyrs Mirror’ to Feature Duck Dynasty Cast Members

June 30, 2016 Andrew

LAMPETER SQUARE, PA Highly revered as a sacred document of Anabaptist martyrdom throughout history, the 17th century book ‘Martyrs Mirror’ is to be updated to include modern martyrdoms like the time the guy from Duck […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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