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technology

Unger Suspicion

Smoke Detector Battery Conveniently Programmed to Expire and Chirp Loudly at 2 in the Morning

December 5, 2023 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB After five years of hard work keeping the family safe, a 9V battery in the Loewen home over in Mitchell is set to conveniently expire and chirp incessantly starting at about 2 this […]

Unger Suspicion

Amana Releases New ‘Throwback’ Dishwasher

September 12, 2023 Andrew

AMANA, IA The Inspirationalist colonies of Amana, Iowa have released a brand new dishwasher that will give people that warm fuzzy feeling of childhood. “We really think people are going to just love our new […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Couple Claim TV is Just for Watching Billy Graham Specials

April 4, 2023 Andrew

HENDERSON, NE Caught with a television set in their home this week by the church vice squad, the Friesens of Henderson, Nebraska claim they only really use the TV for the two allowable reasons – […]

Unger Suspicion

Area Man Deteles 6-Motnh Old Tweet After Discovreing Typo

February 27, 2023 Andrew

STIENBACH, MB Area man Pete Sawatkzy was shockead and dismayed to find a tpyo in a Tweet he psosted more than 6 months ago. “Oba, nay! This error-laden tWeet has been sitting for the months […]

Unger Suspicion

Outage Impacts All 8 Mennonites on Twitter

February 9, 2023 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON All 8 Mennonites who use Twitter – Dan Reimer, Susan Friesen, Mary Froese, Pete Sawatzky, Abe Schmidt, Karen Wiebe, Anne Yoder, and Fran Miller – were greatly impacted by the outage this week. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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