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taylor swift

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Swifties to Exchange ‘Frintschoft’ Bracelets this Weekend

November 16, 2024 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Dozens of Mennonite Swifties have defied church orders and travelled from as far away as Aylmer and Leamington to attend a Taylor Swift concert in Toronto this weekend. “I’m going to hear about […]

Unger Games

Taylor Swift’s Boyfriend Goes as Zach Collaros for Halloween

November 1, 2024 Andrew

KANSAS CITY, MO Though no one’s quite sure why, for some reason Taylor Swift’s boyfriend decided to dress up like Winnipeg Blue Bombers quarterback Zach Collaros for Halloween this year. “I’m flattered,” said Collaros. “It […]

Unger Suspicion

Taylor Swift ‘Devastated’ After Man Far Outside Her Target Demographic Plans to Boycott Her

September 16, 2024 Andrew

WEST READING, PA A 73-year-old retired farmer named Abe Wiens is planning a one-man boycott of Taylor Swift this week after he discovered she doesn’t support his preferred political candidate. “I’m sure she’s devastated,” said […]

The Daily Bonnet

Germans Excited for ‘Taylor Schnell’ Concert

July 11, 2024 Andrew

HAMBURG, GERMANY Local music fans are lining up outside the Volksparkstadion in Hamburg this afternoon to witness pop star Taylor Schnell. “Schnell! Schnell! Get on the train,” yelled train attendant Olga Kaiserbun. “All aboard for […]

Unger Suspicion

Taylor Swift Announces New Album: ‘Tortured Mennonite Poets Department’

March 3, 2024 Andrew

WEST READING, PA Pop sensation Taylor Swift is venturing into new territory on her forthcoming 11th album – tortured Mennonite poets. “Of all the poets out there, I think the Mennonite poets are the most […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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