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Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Vows Never Again to Ask English Prof to Read the Children’s Story

October 26, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB All the children ages 3 to 11 at East Winnipeg MBCC church were called up to the front for the children’s story this Sunday morning, when renowned CMU English professor Dr. Leroy Klippenstein […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Health Data to Be Reported Using Flannelgraph Boards

March 31, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Starting this week, all upcoming health updates in the province will be reported using the most accurate medium the province was willing to supply: an old flannelgraph board hauled out of a church […]

Unger Conviction

Christian Service Brigade Defends Church Basement from Invading Pioneer Girls

October 21, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB More than two dozen Tadpoles and Treeclimbers ran for cover behind upturned Chesterfields in the Youth Room last night as the Pioneer Girls stormed into the basement to sew badges onto their sashes. […]

Unger Suspicion

Ricky Gervais Roasts “Mennonite Elites” at Annual Sunday School Attendance Awards

January 8, 2020 Andrew

HOLMES COUNTY, OH The cream of the crop of the Mennonite world gathered at the Holmes County Motel 6 this week to celebrate the annual Sunday School Attendance Awards. The evening is normally a celebration […]

Unger Conviction

Church Puppets Shock Congregation by Appearing Completely Naked

November 5, 2019 Andrew

ELKHART, IN Hundreds of parishioners ran screaming out of the auditorium at Westside Mennonite Church this past week, after a pair of puppets, Chester and Melissa, appeared on stage without any clothes on. The move […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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